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Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah

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pain [Feb. 6th, 2007|09:36 pm]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
[Current Location |a deep dark place]

i've been really depressed these past few months...no it's not the weather, meathead
it's the fact that my life is empty...i have no one
i keep thinking of an older friend i have
he's 50 something
no wife...no kids..no girlfriend...nothing
my fear is that i'll end up like him
though i think he prefers it that way
where as i....do not
i'd always wanted kids
but lately i've been thinking...why bring life into this world..when the only thing we REALLY have to look forward to is the enevitability of Death
Death has a reoccuring theme in my life
i love the shape of old caskets...skulls...bones
i think i have an un-natural fear of dying
my life is almost half over..and what do i have to look forward to?
i don't know why i type this shit
it's not like anyone reads it
maybe one day when they find my cold bloodied body wrapped around a streetlight
or floating in the lake
they can look back and see what was going through my mind
i can not say that thoughts of ending it all have not crossed my mind...
who would really miss me?
my family?...in time they will heal
my friends?...in time they will forget
my online friends?...in a shorter time...they too will forget
maybe then i'll be one of those "famous artist's"

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addiction [Feb. 2nd, 2007|05:53 pm]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
age of mythology=addictive
age of middle earth (modpack for aom)=addictive
i'll be getting age of empires which i'm sure will be just as addictive....-sigh- i've no life
someone murder me and string my intestines across the telephone wires?
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note to self...don't forget [Jan. 1st, 2007|05:32 pm]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
[Current Location |oort cloud]
[music |monk marathon]

material for backgrounds
translucent material
hardware store lamps

this is just a note to myself to remind me the things i need for my photography stuff
not like anyone reads this...lol

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The End [Dec. 27th, 2006|12:46 am]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
[Current Location |kuiper belt]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |fish tank, tv, and furnace]

so i'm sitting here watching this thing on the history channel about the end of the world..and all the different ways it could happen....
they also ask a bunch of people what they'd do if they knew the world IS about to end
here is what i would do....

pull a 12 monkey's plot i.e. free as many animals as i could...just let them run rampant all over the place...killing anyone that got in my way
i would then proceed to murder people..just randomly...no rhyme or reason
might let a few hot chicks live if they give me head...but..they'd still suffer a slow painful death from whatever was the impending disaster
i would also indulge in my greastest curiosity...well...next only to the mysteries of the universe
i would HAVE to have myself a nice little cannibal session...i have always wondered about the taste of human flesh
i would then drink until i couldn't see straight...indulging myself in all those horrendous drugs i would never do anyway
just load the fuck up on them and fuckin o.d. with a giant smile plastered on my face

in better news...for shitmas i got like $400 worth of gift cards from best buy
so i'm getting a new digital camera..that's right no more old school 1.3 megapixel point and shoot for me...now..the camera i'm getting isn't a nice new SLR...they simply aren't cheap enough
the one i'm getting is like a step under SLR..it's considered an "advanced" camera
i was debating between a canon and a kodak...ended up going with the kodak...
the kodas has a hot shoe, ability to write to raw or tiff formats, and an internal 32 MB cache memory which is GREAT until i can actually get a memory card, also the "breaking point" was..the canon was VERY noisy in low light conditions...plus the kodak has a manul focus ring which is pimp as all hell..the lens is also threaded for add-on lenses and lens filters
i'm happy
also had to bust some of my own money...but i'll be getting a flat panel monitor as soon as they're in stock again
now i just gotta find some hot broads near by that wanna get naked....umm i mean..take "artistic" photographs :D
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Mistletoe Beltbuckle [Nov. 27th, 2006|03:20 pm]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah


Sparkling personality, intense will, intelligent, understanding, impatient to exert influence.

Colors: male: red carmine, female: gold
Compatible Signs:
Bastet, Geb
Apr 20 - May 7, Aug 12 - Aug 19

Role: God of the pharaoh
Form of a falcon-headed man, wearing the double crown of Upper and Lower Egypt

Sacred Animal: falcon

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

you may now bow before me
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(no subject) [Sep. 16th, 2006|07:30 am]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
so yeah my sis was over yesterday (thursday night)...she was weighing herself...so i figured ehh why the fuck not?....so i weigh myself
i lost 10 fuckin pounds! =O
not bad!...one week 10 pounds?...fuckin hotness!
ok..i'm done...go fuck off now :)
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a plan is in motion... [Sep. 8th, 2006|04:36 am]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
[mood |tiredtired]

to save my life
i've decided i will no longer be a fatass
this amorphis blob that is my body will be shaped into something different
for the past..oh...two weeks or so i've been walking almost a mile everyday
and as of today it will be 2 miles
as well as lifting some weights...i'm not talking a bodybuilding program or any shit like that...just lifting a single 25 lbs. dumbell....just something to build muscle
i weighed myself today and my grandma's behest
i didn't want to....but...i was pleasently surprised
331.5 lbs.
not bad...considering i thought i was over 350....closer to if not more than 400
and while 331 isn't bad in that respect...it sure isn't great =\
although i AM 6'3" so yeah something....also i weighed myself with my shoes on...plus my hair (which is down to the bottom of my ass) so yeah...i'm sure those account for something as well
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(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2006|04:19 pm]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2006|11:33 am]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
so the other day i'm watching "stephen hawkings universe" it was an episode about blackholes....come to find out he was awarded his doctoritefor proving that basicaly, before the big bang our universe was a singularity

the problem with this?

now you may say well that's a good thing...and it is....
it's a good thing becuase i was right
it's a good thing because...well..maybe stephen hawking and i think on the same level
but in some respects...it's a bad thing.....
who knows maybe *I* could have gotten my Ph.D. with this same theory
this also means i have no more reason to research this possibility -sigh-
the only thing i've left to research is my theory on how our universe GOT to the singularity
Dr. Hawking has said that asking what came before the big bang is like asking what is north of the north pole
but i have to strongly disagree
that's akin to saying
why bother what finding out what came before homo-sapiens, we're here now...so what does it matter?

anyway...the search continues
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(no subject) [Aug. 18th, 2006|05:59 am]
Cybernetic Tyrannical Messiah
so yeah....i haven't updated in forever because...well i don't give a fuck :D
ANYWAY...been studying quantum physics for the past few days...HOLY SHIT it's complimacated!
but it all started with a creation of thge universe theory i had....still have it....haven't come across any research that says it can't happen...who know's...maybe i actually WILL be famous one day :D
and to you i leave these few choice words
go shit up a rope :D <3
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